


godspeed

by Anonymous



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Comfort/Angst, M/M, Married Couple, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 11:19:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17324051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Kyungsoo’s just about melted in Chanyeol’s arms right about now, and he knows this is just a small gesture in comparison to all the milestones Chanyeol’s missed, but chalk it up to a little desperation and Kyungsoo’s willing to forgive his husband, even if it’s just for tonight.





	godspeed

There wasn’t anything particularly interesting with what Kyungsoo was watching on TV, in all honesty, he just wanted to unload after another day spent looking after the kids. For some reason, Thursdays were always the toughest for him, because it was a day away from Friday, and then it was the weekend. He didn’t really like the weekends, not for a long time, and it made him anxious just thinking about going through another weekend when there really isn’t a routine for him to follow.

 

Just an aimless day spent.

 

His babies loved the weekend, though every day felt the same, at least, for the littlest one, but still. No preschool and no kindergarten for the two older kids, and they loved playing around and sleeping in and watching things on their iPads that Kyungsoo hates that they have.

 

Kyungsoo hates a lot of things, expensive things, but he indulges and spoils himself and the kids with nice items, only because he can, and only because his husband earns it.

 

His husband, Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol hasn’t felt like his husband in a long time too.

 

Kyungsoo sits up from where he’d been slouching on the couch and turns off the TV when he heard Chanyeol’s car in the driveway. His heart was pounding; he had patted down a timeframe from when Chanyeol would turn off the engine, get out of the car and into their home.

 

He heaved himself off the couch, tossing the khaki he wrapped himself around in over the back of the leather couch before heading towards the bedroom, turning off any lights he had left on on his way.

 

He didn’t know when this starting becoming a part of his routine, but now, it became so normal for him to ignore Chanyeol whenever he came home from work, that his body moved like clockwork every time he heard the car pull up.

 

Kyungsoo had been a little lethargic today, so he was late in cooking dinner for himself and Chanyeol. The kids took priority, their dinner being had earlier than 9 P.M. already tucked in bed and fast asleep, but Kyungsoo still berated himself for cooking so late. The food was still hot, still creating steam underneath the cling wrap, and he had to scarf down his own serving just so he could avoid eating with Chanyeol whenever he decided to come home.

 

Tonight, Chanyeol was early, so Kyungsoo was at least grateful he ate quickly.

 

He walked pass his eldest sons’ rooms, peeping through the crack in the door to see that they’re not being naughty and are actually still asleep— he closes the door. He then walks past the nursery to where his daughter slept soundly in her crib. He smiled sadly, keeping her door open.

 

Sleep, they were all asleep. It was time for Kyungsoo to follow in suit and then wake up the next morning to do it all again.

 

Kyungsoo would get the eldest son ready for kindergarten, getting all his books and lunch ready; making sure he has enough water in his bottle and enough substantial snacks to give him energy—then get his three year old ready for daycare—taking as much precaution as he did for his eldest when packing the three year old’s bag.

 

Then the rest of the day up until two to three when it was time to pick up the kids, Kyungsoo would spend it with his one year old daughter; doing some light groceries, some cleaning around the house and then some reading.

 

It was tiring—rewarding, but also very tiring, and honestly, Kyungsoo felt like he was a single parent. But, he wasn’t about to rob Chanyeol of credit; if it wasn’t for Chanyeol’s high demeaning dream job that paid good Kyungsoo wouldn’t be able to live so comfortable.

 

But then again, it wasn’t the kind of “comfortable” that he wanted.

 

He wanted his husband with him, helping him erase the kids, have basic conversations with him— hell, Kyungsoo wanted at least a good morning kiss from Chanyeol, but even that’s still asking for too much.

 

Kyungsoo’s been (forcing) himself to go to bed before Chanyeol gets home, and he’s out the door before Chanyeol wakes up. Their schedules don’t match up anymore since Chanyeol’s exhausted his paternity leave and the fact that Chanyeol’s been recently promoted. And Kyungsoo wanted to be happy for his husband, but he lost him instead, despite their joint bank account stacking numbers.

 

Kyungsoo wasn’t worried about Chanyeol having an affair, he knew Chanyeol wasn’t having one; Chanyeol’s too loyal to a fault, and he’s also too tired these days. Chanyeol wouldn’t be bothered to fuck another when he’s been having trouble getting it up for Kyungsoo due to exhaustion. And them not having proper sex since the birth of their youngest didn’t make their current rut any better—not to ignore the fact that Chanyeol’s pretty much out like alight before Kyungsoo could suggest sex.

 

Kyungsoo reaches the semi-dark bedroom and tucks himself in bed, just in time to hear the front door of the house creak open. He hears Chanyeol sigh; his keys and brief case hitting the table and the lights flipping on.

 

He wanted the sleep he felt earlier to take him so badly, but he was unfortunately wide awake now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Honey, I’m home…” Chanyeol says to himself, seeing the dinner that Kyungsoo’s cooked for him on the dining table. He approaches the food—Kyungsoo cooked a lot, as per usual, but that wasn’t what he was looking at. There used to be little notes that Kyungsoo would handwrite for him and leave—they were so cute, and Chanyeol’s kept them all.

 

They usually said _sorry, I couldn’t wait for you and got hungry so I ate first :(_ or _I hope you had a good day at work. Please come cuddle with me when you’re finished eating <3_.

 

Now, there weren’t any at all anymore.

 

Chanyeol frowns, noting the steam against the cling wrap over the bowls of food; he hovers his hand over the soup and notes that it was still very hot. It was only 9 P.M., and Chanyeol found it ridiculous that Kyungsoo would be already in bed by now. There was absolutely no reason for him to be sleeping so early.

 

And Chanyeol’s been trying to get home earlier, and tonight, he finished on time and beach the rush hour traffic to race home.

 

He’s not dumb; he knows that Kyungsoo’s avoiding him. But also, he doesn’t blame his husband; he’s been neglecting him and his family and he knows it.

 

Chanyeol’s trying; he’s trying his best to be there for Kyungsoo and for his family, but the money is so good and he _love_ what he does and he’s able to afford nice things for his husband and their three little kids.

 

He knows at the end of the day though, it’s not always worth it—he’s missed out on so many milestones—that even includes the birth of his youngest. He hates himself for that, and he knows because of that, that he and Kyungsoo drifted, but he really couldn’t help it and he got a promotion for what he did at work—even if it did cost him missing out on greeting his first daughter into the world.

 

He’s apologised, countless times, even when Kyungsoo wasn’t in the mood to look at him nor hear it. He knows it's not enough.

 

So, even a year later, he’ll still let Kyungsoo hold a grudge and sulk; Chanyeol honestly does deserve this, but tonight, work had been very stressful, and he misses his husband, and he’s also _very_ horny, and he just craves Kyungsoo’s touch.

 

He’s already planned on calling in sick tomorrow, so tonight, he wants to fuck his husband.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol has dinner with a couple of beers. He then packs away any left overs and he does the dishes. After, he freshens up in the bathroom; brushing his teeth and washing his face before walking into his and Kyungsoo’s bedroom—the moonlight seeping into the room being his only source of light.

 

Kyungsoo’s asleep—sometimes, Kyungsoo really it, but other times, he’s faking it—and tonight, Chanyeol thinks Kyungsoo’s faking it.

 

“Soo… Soo-yah…” Chanyeol said, crouching down to be at eye level with Kyungsoo. “Baby, I’m horny.”

 

Chanyeol waits for a bit; he reaches out and gently traces Kyungsoo’s hairline before Kyungsoo scrunches his nose and shakes his head, “Go jerk yourself off then, I’m sleeping.”

 

Chanyeol snorts and laughs at that, “C’mon baby. Let’s have sex. I miss you.”

 

Kyungsoo turns over in the bed so that he had his back towards Chanyeol. Chanyeol sighs and goes on his knees before bending over to kiss Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “I miss you.” He repeated. “Don’t you miss me?”

 

Kyungsoo shrugs his shoulder as if to brush Chanyeol off of him. “No.” He lies. “I’m really not in the mood, take care of yourself.”

 

Chanyeol ruffles his own hair in frustration. “Fine.” He huffed out, standing. He then walks around to his side of the bed before flipping back the blankets and sitting on the mattress, legs spread out in front of him.

 

He then pulls down his boxers and takes his duck in his hand before he starts jerking himself off.

 

Kyungsoo opens his eyes—now truly awake, and he’s appalled. “What the fuck are you doing?” He almost shouts. “Right in front of me?”

 

“You said to take care of it.” Chanyeol said, rubbing the tip of his dick with his thumb.

 

Kyungsoo sits up, looking at Chanyeol with scandalised eyes, “Yeah, but not with me in the fucking room!” He said. “This is harassment, I dont _care_ if we’re married!”

 

Chanyeol snorts and rolls his eyes, the hypocrisy here is amazing. “Oh, like you don’t fucking finger yourself when you think I’m asleep.” He retorts, reaching down with his other hand to play with his balls.

 

Kyungsoo gulps, trying to not follow Chanyeol’s hand down with his eyes. He really did think Chanyeol was asleep all those times that he played with himself, the embarrassment recalling all those nights burning the back of his neck.

 

Kyungsoo groans, noting how Chanyeol wasn’t going to stop jerking himself off. “Can’t you do that in the bathroom or something?”

 

Chanyeol scoffs, “I’m not a teenager, Kyungsoo. Just ignore me; it shouldn’t be that hard for you to do.” He jabs, lifting his shirt up his torso a bit to reveal his abs—abs that Kyungsoo couldn’t help but ogle at, even if for s second.

 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, sighing, before turning his back to Chanyeol, taking his husband’s advice. Now lying back down again, he hikes the blanket up and over his shoulder, grumbling under his breath.

 

He hears Chanyeol scoff again, and that annoys him, but at the same time, he just wants to go to sleep and go back to ignoring Chanyeol like before.

 

But then he hears Chanyeol spit, probably into his hand, before a wet _schlick_ noice grew louder and louder; the sound of Chanyeol jerking himself off becoming faster and faster. Chanyeol starts to moan, and Kyungsoo’s heart thuds fast in his chest—ears blooming red; his own dick growing in his boxers.

 

He swallows deeply, hearing Chanyeol moan his name, “Ahh… Kyungsoo… Soo-yah… Baby… Ahh… ngh…”

 

  
“Be quiet,” Kyungsoo mutters under his breath; Chanyeol just laughs and shuffles closer, more into the centre of the bed; his thigh almost touching Kyungsoo’s back.

 

He leans a little over Kyungsoo and says, “Did you say something?” whilst still jerking himself off.

 

Kyungsoo clenches his teeth. He’s restless; he sits back up again and stares at Chanyeol who looks back at him with a stupid grin, like he’s won Kyungsoo over or something.

 

“Come here, baby. Give me a kiss. “ Chanyeol said, licking his lips.

 

“Stop touching your cock, you pervert.” Kyungsoo mumbled before kissing Chanyeol for a mere second.

 

“Mm, give me one more.” Chanyeol said, leaning forward towards Kyungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo pushes Chanyeol’s face away before reaching down to yank Chanyeol’s hand off of his dick to stop him from jerking himself off. His hand is a little wet; his dick a nice shade of red—the moonlight seeping into the room to guide Kyungsoo’s sight.

 

Kyungsoo looks at Chanyeol’s hand that he held by the wrist, then he looks down at Chanyeol’s dick.

 

He chews his inner cheek before he brings Chanyeol’s wet hand and wipes the spit mixed with precome on his own face. Chanyeol gulps as Kyungsoo turns his head to smell Chanyeol’s hand, licking the palm before Kyungsoo goes down on Chanyeol and takes the tip of his dick into his mouth.

 

Chanyeol moans softly as Kyungsoo begins to bob his head up and down Chanyeol’s dick; Kyungsoo wraps his hand around the base of his cock, rubbing what he couldn’t fit in his mouth.

 

“Ahh… Soo-yah…” Chanyeol moans as he cards his fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair before gripping it tight against the scalp.

 

He then gently starts to fuck up into Kyungsoo’s mouth the tip hitting the back of Kyungsoo’s throat. Kyungsoo tried to relax his throat; it’s been a while since Chanyeol’s fucked his face, and the feeling became so foreign to him, it felt like the first time. But even still, Kyungsoo didn’t want to choke, so he tried to relax.

 

When Chanyeol started to pick up the pace though, Kyungsoo forcedhimseldb up and off Chanyeol’s dick, gasping for air; momentarily forgetting to breathe through his nose.

 

“Sorry… sorry…” Chanyeol huffs, reaching out to thumb Kyungsoo’s bottom lip. “Do you… wanna get on my dick?” He asks sheepishly, and Kyungsoo almost cracks a smile.

 

Almost.

 

He doesn’t. Instead, Kyungsoo just nods, and shimmies out of his boxers; his cock leaking and erect.

 

Chanyeol grins and guides Kyungsoo onto his hands and knees before kneeling behind him with a bottle of lube. He lathers up two fingers before slowly pushing them inside Kyungsoo, stretching him out and fingering him loose.

 

Kyungsoo sighs sweetly, the feeling of Chanyeol’s long and thick fingers fucking him and pressing against his prostate making him shiver. It’s definitely different from when he was fingering himself, and it makes him miss having sex with Chanyeol even more.

 

Chanyeol’s eventually fucking him with three fingers before he’s stretched out enough to take his length. Chanyeol lines himself up behind Kyungsoo’s ass before pushing into his husband.

 

“You good?” He asks once he bottoms out.

 

Kyungsoo nods, “Yeah… yeah… just… go slow first…”

 

“Of course,” Chanyeol says. He moves his hips back and forth in a rocking motion; shallowly thrusting his hips so that Kyungsoo gets used to the stretch again. He occasionally pulls out just so that the tip is only inside, lubes up the shaft of his cock before sliding back in to make it easier and more pleasurable for Kyungsoo.

 

Chanyeol then grabs a few pillows and stuffs them underneath Kyungsoo’s tummy, just so he had some kind of support—because while he may be going slow, there was no way he’d keep this pace up the entire time—he’s super horny, and he misses his husband and having sex. The pillows weren’t much, but they were something.

 

Kyungsoo’s started to moan softly; a habit he’s developed after masturbating in silence for the past couple of months. He ends up having to cover his mouth though once Chanyeol starts picking up the pace—his hips slapping hard against Kyungsoo’s ass,

 

That sound, along with the bed creaking and his muffled moans filled his ears, and then he hears Chanyeol clicking his tongue as if he was annoyed that Kyungsoo was covering his mouth.

 

“Let it out, baby.” Chanyeol said, fucking Kyungsoo harder.

 

Kyungsoo groans, clasping his over hand over his mouth. “No… the kids…” Kyungsoo gasps out before covering his mouth again.

 

“C’mon, I want to hear you… I want to hear you moaning I wanna know how good I make up feel, c’mon baby…” Chanyeol huffs out with a low voice.

 

Kyungsoo’s shaking hi s head before removing his hands away from his mouth to hold the edge of the bed—Chanyeol slamming his cock deep and hard into him.

 

“Auh!!” Kyungsoo moans, gritting his teeth. “Nnn… nghh… ahh.. N-no…”

 

“Yes…” Chanyeol moans, “That’s it baby, ahh… fuck…”

 

Kyungsoo buries his head into the mattress, embarrassed at his voice and he worries that he’s being too loud. Chanyeol clearly doesn’t care about that; he’s having the time of his life, fucking Kyungsoo into a moaning mess.

 

It kind of makes Kyungsoo a little sad.

 

The thinking behind this didn’t really make sense, but Kyungsoo felt the way he did. And what he felt, mainly, was confusion.

 

Yes, he misses Chanyeol. Yes, he misses having sex with him. But this circumstance—this sex positing, it’s making Kyungsoo feel… cheap. And used, and dirty and it’s just been _so_ long since they were this intimate and yet… it doesn’t feel like the times before.

 

And soon, his moans of pleasure turns into soft sobs of sadness; he starts to cry into the mattress as his husband fucks him like a whore.

 

His shoulders shake as he cries; his arms come around to shield and cover his head and then Chanyeol starts to not; he stops immediately what he’s doing just in time to hear Kyungsoo’s wail of distress.

 

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol cals out with concern. He pulls out before leaning over Kyungsoo’s back, his fingers now gentle form when they gripped Kyungsoo’s hips tight. He tries to move Kyungsoo’s head to get him to look at him, but Kyungsoo remained adamant in sobbing into the mattress. “Baby, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Was I being too rough?”

 

Kyungsoo’s body falls pliant and slumps over the mounds of pillows—he felt yucky and exposed and he wanted to search for the blanket to cover himself up—but Chanyeol’s sweet voice finally registered in his head and he shook it after crying for a little bit.

 

Chanyeol frowns and kisses Kyungsoo’s shoulder over the bunched up shirt that pooled around his armpits.

 

“What’s wrong then? Why are you crying?” Chanyeol asks. “C’mon, baby, talk to me, please.”

 

Kyungsoo inhales deeply to calm himself; he feels stupid crying over something like this while having sex, but he can’t help how he feels.

 

He turns his head to see Chanyeol looking at him with tears in his own eyes.

 

“Kyungsoo…” Chanyeol pouts, moving off Kyungsoo to lay by his side. He wipes Kyungsoo’s eyes with his thumb before caressing his husband’s face.

 

“You’re never home anymore.” Kyungsoo begins after a beat, hiccuping straight after. “You’re always tired and you’re never home and I’m _sick_ of it, Chanyeol. I’m _over_ it. And I’m scared. I’m scared because our babies are growing up and I’m scared that they’re going to grow up thinking they don’t have a dad, because their dad _never_ spends time with them and I’m scared they’re going to forget you.”

 

“Soo…” Chanyeol sighs, a little taken back that Kyungsoo’s expressing himself so boldly from the bat.

 

“And I get it,” Kyungsoo continues. “You’re busy. And You’re earning so much and we’re always well fed and we have a roof over our heads and we can buy our babies everything way need—but today, Chanyeol… _today_ , our baby… our little girl… our one year old… she said her first words today… and you weren’t here to hear it! You didn’t pick up the phone! It’s just like you weren’t here for when she was born or for when our eldest got top marks in his class and got an award for it and sure! He’s only in kindergarten and something like that shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but Chanyeol! You’re _supposed_ to be here for that kind of shit! And you’re _not_!”

 

“I’m sorry, Kyungsoo. I really am.” And Chanyeol wast going to excuse himself because are no excuses. He chose work over his family and that’s just something he can’t take back.

 

No matter how many times he apologises. No matter how many hours he spends in the day regretting it and reflecting his choices. Because all those events; all those milestones, they’ve already been missed and he can’t recreate or try to live through them anymore. He can only live with the regrets from choosing to miss those moments.

 

Then Kyungsoo frowns deeper. “And now… even now.. we’re having sex… but you’re fucking me like I’m some stranger! Like a one night stand, like you can’t even _stand_ to even see my face so you fuck me like a dog!” Kyungsoo wails, pushing Chanyeol away.

 

Chanyeol honestly doesn’t know what to say to that. He’s shocked and very disappointed in himself. His words really cant fix this, so instead, he just leans forward and kisses Kyungsoo softly; chastely.

 

Kyungsoo pushes him away again and wipes his eyes. “Sorry for saying those things.”

 

“No, no, no, don’t be sorry, baby. I’m sorry for making you feel that way. And for everything else. I’m _so_ so sorry, and I know that can’t even _begin_ to feel enough.” He sincerely apologised. He leans in again to kiss Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo indulges for a bit before pulling away.

 

“You have work tomorrow.” Kyungsoo said, voice raw. “I’ll finish you off quickly and then you can go to bed.”

 

‘No,” Chanyeol said. “I’m going to call in sick tomorrow.”

 

“You have no more sick leave. You have no more leave left for the rest of the year,” Kyungsoo said, frowning.

 

“That’s okay.”

 

“You’re not going to get paid,”

 

“That’s okay.”

 

“Chan—”

 

“Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol said firmly. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” He then wraps his arm around Kyungsoo’s waist and pulls him in close; he kisses Kyungsoo’s nose, his eyes, his cheeks and then his mouth, whispering _it’s okay_ after every kiss.

 

Kyungsoo’s just about melted in Chanyeol’s arms right about now, and he knows this is just a small gesture in comparison to all the milestones Chanyeol’s missed, but chalk it up to a little desperation and Kyungsoo’s willing to forgive his husband, even if it’s just for tonight.

 

He’s then pulling Chanyeol on top of him and fits him in between his legs; silently, Chanyeol's shoving his cock back inside of kyungsoo, and they fuck missionary style.

 

Chanyeol’s kissing him all over; touching him all over, whispering sweet nothings into Kyungsoo’s ear and Kyungsoo’s leaking like crazy, holding and scratching Chanyeol’s back until they both near their climax.

 

Chanyeol comes first; deep and inside of Kyungsoo, filling him all the way up, and they’re both certain that Chanyeol’s impregnated him what with the way his come spills out of Kyungsoo’s ass.

 

Chanyeol then strokes Kyungsoo’s dick, fucking him too until he comes.

 

They have a moment to themselves to catch their breath; Chanyeol breathing in deeply against Kyungsoo’s neck as Kyungsoo rubs the heel and sole of his foot against Chanyeol’s back upper thigh and asscheek, lazily scratching Chanyeol’s scalp. But, they cant bask in the afterglow of their orgasm, because right then, the baby monitor goes off and their youngest is crying in her crib.

 

“I’ll get her.” Chanyeol offers, but Kyungsoo shakes his head, and stops him with a hand.

 

“No, I will.” He said. Chanyeol gets off of Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo’s already rolling out of bed with his discarded boxers in his hands. He turns on the lamp and puts on his boxers and Chanyeol doesn’t miss the way his come slides down Kyungsoo’s thighs.

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t say a word.

 

He leaves to go to the bathroom, washes his hands, dries them, then he heads to their daughter’s nursery to tend to her wails.

 

Through the baby monitor, Chanyeol can hear how almost instantaneous their daughter stops crying once in Kyungsoo’s arms.

 

He watches fondly on the baby monitor how gently Kyungsoo carries their baby, how soft his voice is and how soothing his words were—she fell back asleep in no time, but Kyungsoo holds her for a good twenty minutes before putting her down to sleep in her crib.

 

And Chanyeol hates the insecurity he suddenly feels at the thought of their daughter or any of their three kids won't feel comfort in his own arms; all because he prioritised work over building a relationship with them.

 

He needed to do better, because right now, he’s just as good as a stranger to them.


End file.
